Job at B & Q

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Job at B & Q

Postby petemarr » Mon Mar 05, 2012 12:49 am

My One day of employment


After landing my new job as a B & Q greeter - a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day ......

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said, pleasantly, "Good morning and welcome to B & Q."

I then said, "Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7.
Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"

I replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam. I just couldn't believe someone shagged you twice.... Have a good day and thank you for shopping at B & Q."

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.
PETE
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Re: Job at B & Q

Postby roya » Mon Mar 05, 2012 3:54 pm

Well said Pete,
B@Q,

dont know what you all think but a very very expensive outlet,
for example,

I needed a new blade for my Mountfield Mower


bq price £19

local garden outlet £9,

well out of it Pete.
.clap.
just old and knackered.


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Re: Job at B & Q

Postby SteveO » Wed Mar 07, 2012 10:10 pm

Well I for one quite like B & Q. The high prices reinforce the illusion of quality and at the same time keep the riff-raff out of the store.

.Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee.


-uu-


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Re: Job at B & Q

Postby roya » Thu Mar 08, 2012 4:12 pm

MY dear MR O,
not sure what Riff Raff is ,
i can only assume it the outsiders we let into Norfolk,
:Oh
just old and knackered.


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Re: Job at B & Q

Postby SteveO » Thu Mar 08, 2012 6:51 pm

I was thinking more of mooching pensioners actually.

.Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee.

-uu-

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Re: Job at B & Q

Postby roya » Thu Mar 08, 2012 8:59 pm

Mr O

ahem,
2 words to say to you


HE HE ,
.k.
just old and knackered.


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Re: Job at B & Q

Postby roya » Sat Mar 10, 2012 6:24 pm

.ph. .k.
just old and knackered.


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Re: Job at B & Q

Postby ranworthbreeze » Thu Jul 12, 2012 2:02 pm

Hello Pete,

I loved your story, I wonder how much of it was true.
I only go in B&Q if desperate, one of the branches near us only has the self serve tills on at the weekend and on principal I will not use these at all, I wish for service when I shop, many the time I have left the goods on the till and walked out.

Regards
Alan
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Re: Job at B & Q

Postby brenda72 » Sat Jul 13, 2013 12:49 am

My Husband and I moved from Buckinghamshire to Norfolk so I assume we are considered RIFF RAFF. I might add that I am also a Pensioner,
so does that make me DOUBLE RIFF RAFF?
Taken umbridge at those comments!!!
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Re: Job at B & Q

Postby SteveO » Sat Jul 20, 2013 6:42 pm

Errr Brenda,

In case you hadn't noticed, we are all riff-raff on here.

.Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee.

-uu- -uu-

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Re: Job at B & Q

Postby Freedom » Sun Jul 21, 2013 8:38 am

Quite.

I moved from Bedfordshire to Norfolk and then started selling Norfolk-based holidays. I won't invite anyone to cite the level of riff rafity that I come under.
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Re: Job at B & Q

Postby roya » Sun Jul 21, 2013 10:57 am

Brenda.
ooops if you feel offended,its only a bit of fun ,

I also am a pensioner so that makes me WRINKLY Riff Raff .Tee.



.k

Please join in the banter Thanks .
just old and knackered.


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Re: Job at B & Q

Postby Paul » Sun Jul 21, 2013 4:53 pm

didn't realise you'd been promoted back to riff raff Roy, who authorised that? :Oh
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Re: Job at B & Q

Postby roya » Mon Jul 22, 2013 7:28 pm

(ner) to you mate :cvan ,


please reply to my PM.
just old and knackered.


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Re: Job at B & Q

Postby Paul » Mon Jul 22, 2013 10:04 pm

will do Roy, just having a think about things, will be in touch when we are back home
If Britain must choose between Europe and the open sea, she must always choose the open sea.”

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Re: Job at B & Q

Postby Ariel_vh » Wed Aug 28, 2013 1:12 pm

I was born near Reedham and moved away. Does that make me a Raff Riff?....Les
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Re: Job at B & Q

Postby littlesprite » Wed Sep 04, 2013 1:10 pm

I've been following this thread for some time and still can't work out who/what I am,
Born on the Isle of White, living in Kent, holiday on the broads, so am I riff, raff, riff raff, raff riff, please someone "WHO AM I"

:cry: :cry: :cry:
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Re: Job at B & Q

Postby Paul » Wed Sep 04, 2013 2:19 pm

Isle of Wight to Kent and holidaying in Norfolk? I originally thought "Confused" but as you seem to be getting nearer to God's Wonderful Country then perhaps "improving" is a more flattering assessment.
If Britain must choose between Europe and the open sea, she must always choose the open sea.”

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Re: Job at B & Q

Postby petemarr » Wed Sep 04, 2013 10:24 pm

Born in London, lived in Hertfordshire and now Buckinghamshire and love the Broads. thought that was it until I recently delved into my family Genealogy.
Traced them back 100 years in London and Surrey , but before that for 300 years to the 1600's my Dads side lived in a small village 10 miles south of Norwich. Mums side lived just southeast of Beccles since 1650's.
So I cant be riff raff but do have trouble finding gloves with 5 fingers and a thumb. :Oh :Oh :Oh .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee.
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