Dviorce

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Dviorce

Postby robynsarah » Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:25 pm

THE BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER!

Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to France together! Have a great life!


Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the £49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed £50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million pounds, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem..


.Tee. .Tee. .Tee.
When i opened my eyes this morning, i thought i heard the devil say "Damn, she's awake"
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Re: Dviorce

Postby petemarr » Wed Oct 05, 2011 8:17 pm

Nice one Robyn but its an old one can we have some new jokes please .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee. .Tee.
PETE
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Re: Dviorce

Postby TudorRose » Wed Oct 05, 2011 8:19 pm

And learn to spell Divorce .Tee.
We All came here on different ships, but we're in the same boat now!
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